It was May 2014. I had become good at talking with God. No and Go sound similar for a reason. A man may have to stop and think. I would ask him what to have for breakfast in the morning. I would ask him all types of things. God knows every hair on a man's head. He knows what a man likes. God has good plans.
Given I had to travel a short distance, to a place I hadn't been before, given I was to go from my apartment, to a place in downtown Murfreesboro I didn't know, could I get there just with God? Walking from point A to point B is easy. Given you don't know exactly how to get there, someone could get lost. I suppose I was still working to learn how far I could lean on God.
May 23, 2014, the frame of mind I was in, when I decided to take a long ruck march, was one of testing the limits. A rucksack is heavy backpack a soldier may have worn to carry all his gear. I was getting some exercise. I ended up wrestling with God.....in my head. (Genesis 32:22-32)
The following is a testimony I wrote seven or eight years ago about wrestling with God.
I turned 30 on March 9th, 2014. I had been receiving a calling, and by May 24th I had become very Good at talking with the Holy Ghost. I loaded up a backpack with 45 pounds of weight like a Centurion, and went for a walk.
Life for me had been miserable over the last few months. I was dealing with multiple legal issues for pursuing happiness, and obeying God. Time in jail had put me in financial trouble, and I was close to losing my apartment, and being homeless. I had no real friends or family in a 500 mile radius, and no one to really turn to. I had exhausted all reasonable possibilities. Nothing else mattered to me but God.
I started my March around Central Middle School on Main Street, Murfreesboro, TN, and walked till the End of the Road. It was about 7-9 miles. I have never really measured it accurately.
Along the way, God asked me to do things, and I had to reason with him. The Spirit of God was completely working through me. I had to take proverbial lessons God gave me, and we wrestled in my head. I had to remember God has Good plans for me. Don’t Look Back. Walk The Line…as in, don’t veer off the straight path laid out for me.
I felt like I had a disk in my head. God was at the front of my head, something not of God at the back of the head that I learned to ignore. I worked to flip this disk like a coin so that God was on top of my head pointing towards the heavens. I did this by obeying or being right in my reason.
I was told every lie I could image at the time about the Bible and scripture or hard truths, and I had to not care. I don’t care to repeat or remember them. I was showed many things like Enoch is to Noah as Elijah is to Elisha, and how God had been working through people, and many similar instances. I saw many visions, and felt like 2000 years of Christian history and suffering were propelling me forward. Like there had been people who had endured a lot of suffering so I could be doing this with God.
On the way to the End of the Road, I had a vision that Jesus was waiting for me there. I was close to losing my apartment, and had legal issues, had no job, nothing to really hope for, and little to no joy in my life. In February 2014, I was suddenly struck with what I'll call Divine Madness, that is, I could think of little else but God, and God related things, and what I was receiving was way more interesting than whatever else I was doing.
As I was walking, I felt like I may be taken up to heaven at the End of the Road, and all my suffering would be over. I wanted it to happen. I hoped for it.
As I reached the End of the Road the straps on my backpack started to slip naturally. I had straps around my waist as well. I felt like I could not stop. I could not look back. I had to keep going. I started running. I wasn’t going to stop. The straps around my waste slipped as well after my backpack hit the ground, and I pulled it for a few yard. I left my backpack in the street, and soon arrived at the end of the road. Jesus was not there. Elisha had to see Elijah.
I rested about five minutes, and took my boots off. It was disappointing not finding Jesus, but I had dealt with a lot of disappointment, was learning about faith, and how to lean on God, and was not disheartened too much. I started walking back. God said my backpack represented my sins. I left my backpack in the street, and walked back with no water or weight. I did not look at it or look back.
I feel like there are Jewish Angels around me. Off the side of the road I feel like I am walking in a parade to some degree, and there are Angels watching me, and fawning over me. “It’s Ezekiel.” They gasped.
Soon God tells me to walk in the middle of the street. This is an empty rural highway. I do so. Two vehicles were approaching. I had a bad feeling about them. I command handed the vehicles as they approached and said authoritatively, “I’m not Jesus. Jesus wasn’t there. I’m not Jesus. You can’t run from me.” The vehicles didn’t swerve or change path, and neither did I. I felt like a side mirror of a truck may have passed through my arm, but I didn’t flinch. I didn’t look back. I didn’t care. After they pass I get back on the shoulder of the road.
Five minutes or so later a firetruck and a police car pass by me alarms blazing, and I sense that my backpack may have caught on Fire somehow. I start to see the bluest sky I have ever seen. It was like Heaven had woken up and come forth. I feel like there is something in the air behind me. I don’t look back or up. I pass back over Cripple Creek. (Genesis 32:22-32)
I continue my mental wresting with God. He had been sharing the numbers in the Bible with me, and how some of his holy miracles worked. I was beaten down mentally till I did not care about any of that, and shown that I should just obey the Spirit.
The whole time I feel like I had a disk in my head. I am still working it so that the good part is facing up. The disk kind of feels like some of the Catholic statues of Jesus or the Saints.
I was told that if I kept on walking Jesus would possess me, and I would be no more. I kept on walking. About a mile or two outside of Murfreesboro it was over, and I felt like I had a giant crown on my head. My body also went through some burning sensations that were different and supernatural. My whole body felt like it was on fire, but I remember a burning sensation in my groin more.
When I came back to my apartment I was more exhausted then I had ever been in my life. I felt like I was in some sort of high gravity chamber and couldn’t move for a long time nor did I want to. I felt burning sensations. I may have been similar to what Jonah outside of Nineveh may have felt like when God had him lay down. Eventually I watched two different lyric videos of “Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon on my phone because that was how I was feeling, and that released me.
I became homeless over the next two months, and kept working on my phone. God was training me through his spirit. I have the Word in me.
This is the beginning of God's Divine Scavenger Hunt.
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