Sand Paper Heart

 On Twitter, we are @manonfire63......On Twitter, I linked something about having a Sand Paper Heart, and getting the best of Satan.  

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The Question:  How does someone end up with a Sand Paper Heart......like someone was a scientist and they were looking to recreate it?  

Love is a complex thing.  Different people, they love differently.  I like the Five Love Languages.  People tend to give and receive love differently.  

Given someone was looking to empty out their heart, as I did through God.....they possibly love their parents.  I did not.  Your parents or sibling are possibly in your heart.   

Long story short, I deployed to Afghanistan, and lived there for a year, with fifteen days of leave. Over the course of being in Afghanistan, I only called home three times.  I left with no one I cared about to see me off, and I came home with no one I cared about to welcome me back.  

I have some pleasant memories of my parents.  Most of my most pleasant memories were sitting in the living room, maybe on my dad's lap, watching "Star Trek the Next Generation" or "The Wonder Years" or something.   Over the course of life, my parents were not in my heart.  It wasn't a rebellion.  I didn't hate them.  I didn't love them.  My dad was cheap.  He would rather be in his routine, mowing the lawn every weekend, and watching American Idol than to come see me off to war or welcome me home.  

Having an empty heart as I did, that is not something easy or something to be replicated, like someone was trying for it.  It is a horrible thing.